to love and be loved in return

All I want is for my life to have meaning. Do you ever find yourself talking to yourself? Kind of makes you feel a little looney.

Often times I am lonely. I HATE feeling lonely. I grew up for the most part as an only child--lonely. I've not had many friends that have been totally able to understand me and therefore I've kept a lot inside--lonely. I recently lost my best friend of 2 1/2 years and the past 6 months have been well, lonely ones. Basically, I'm lonely. That's ok, I know that this will be a common theme in my life and I need to deal with it but it's hard to feel comfortable with the idea of being lonely when the thing you fear the most and hate the most is being lonely.

I have a lot of love to give. But all I ask in return is to be loved. Seems simple, well...it's not. Sometimes my overwhelming need to be loved in return does just the opposite. And thus, I am alone.

So, in an effort to deal with it, I'm writing about it. I think now maybe I'll finish my wine and go to bed, alone.

Good night, all. :)