thoughts on the continuum of myself as bitch

Last year, I posted on a blog for my Intro to Women's Studies class. The post was in reponse to another student's post on the connotation of the word bitch. It went something like this:

"The word bitch may be used in a derogative way by many individuals. The post to which I am responding describes the word bitch as anti-feminist. As it is mainly used by women on women, thus breaking down the bonds of feminist sisterhood. While I acknowledge this argument, I disagree with it. I like to assimilate the word 'bitch' with the word 'dyke.' Though, I'm not a full fledged dyke, when someone calls me a dyke both in a negative way or as a term of acceptance, I feel empowered by it. Many of the greatest lesbian warriors were called dykes, if not for them I couldn't even write this post afterall. Making a dyke feel empowered is often not the goal of the 'dyke caller' and in fact is exactly the opposite of the caller's ambition. When someone calls me a dyke, I am reminded of the great community of strong women that I make love to and to which I identify. It is from this reminder that I usually call back "Breeder!" So, if you look at the word dyke in the context of the lesbian community and then assimilate that to the word bitch and it's role in the feminist community, you have quite some ammunition. If I'm a bitch, so what? But if I'm a woman that's called a bitch, then perhaps I'm a feminist, a mother, sister, lover, dishwasher, telephone maker, etc. and perhaps I'm pissed off about the gender inequality's that these other
terms evoke. But if I own myself as a bitch, then I can better express my
frustration through feminist thought, and thus, bitch evokes my feeling of
feminist community."

Lately, I seem to have lost sight of my role in the communities to which I belong. Becoming self-absorbed, and to some extent, a bitch in normative societal meaning. Last night, I was watching When Harry Met Sally. The thing that I love most about that film, is the education that Sally gives to Harry about women. That woman is fucking awesome, she's like this waterered down version of bitch and by watered down I mean, a softer more appropriate version of bitch. I used to be her to most everyone with whom I came in contact. But as of late, I've been more like Harry and less like Sally. It is difficult become the other side of the spectrum.

My conclusion:
The continuum of bitch is a tricky thing in which to live and breath. Perhaps I need to take some time out to figure this thing out. This thing that I am and this thing that I want to become within the context of this thing that I am becoming.